Gerald Bald Z
Young, balding boy on a quest for conspicuously beautiful hair.
He once studied under Uncle Grandfather, but was humiliated by theother students due to his being follically-challenged. His mentor then set him out on his journey to attain perfect hair, accompanied by the Action Hot Dog and various other companions.
His grim determination is matched only by his impassive blandness.
Uncle Grandfather
Wise, pot-bellied keeper of the hamburger necklace.
Don’t let his appearance fool you. Uncle Grandfather is more than just a decrepit tutor of ambitious youth. He’s a perverted, horny, lecherous decrepit tutor of ambitious youth. In fact, forget the tutor part. He just likes spending time with young girls in mini-skirts. He also has seemingly unlimited access to pastry-related products, both magical and non-magical, such as hot dogs and hamburgers.
He is a father figure to both Gerald and Brenda. Although... not so much with Brenda. You get me?
Brenda
The face that launched a thousand hot dog buns.
Beautiful and submissive, she is perhaps every man’s dream girl – if you’re a raging pervert, that is. However, you’re browsing this site so chances are you fit that description. In fact, you’re probably not even reading this... Instead, you’re just staring at the picture of the hot girl. Which is pretty fortunate for me, since there’s really nothing left to say about her.
She’s the enigmatic, thonged underling of Uncle Grandfather. So unfortunately for us, she’s taken.
Young Man
The bespectacled, self-proclaimed “King of Animals”.
While his dashing good looks and spanking powers are irrefutable, his ability to form coherent sentences is questionable at best. Often to be found spouting needlessly complex exposition concerning plot developments that nobody else gives a rat’s behind about, he is unable to refrain from telling people that they “don’t understand” whatever subject he happens to be prattling on about at any given time. His role is to aid Gerald in his quest, and to restore balance to the Yu-Gi-Oh barrier. Or something along those lines, anyway.
We don’t understand.
Rod: The Anime God
Giant, laid back flame deity.
Rod is both omnipotent and omnipresent - although this doesn't prevent him from ordering kids to run down to the convenience store for him. He seems a fairly neutral force, despite his drug pushing habit and apparently being allergic to spaceships.
Don't buy tickets from this guy, he'll rip you off.
Coiffio
The evil controller of cats.
Arch-nemesis to Gerald, Coiffio seeks to end the young boy's journey before it has even begun. He does not wish to get his hands - or the rest of his "hawt bod" - dirty, however, and so relies on his most despicable of henchmen, the dreaded Cat Man. Unfortunately, Coiffio has a hard time getting Cat Man to do much of anything, and so his stress levels reach almost as high as his towering hairdo. Coiffio has his very own spaceship, which he uses for covert espionage and getting a decent tan. His intimidating presence is somewhat lessened by an overwhelming speech impediment.
He plays a mean acoustic guitar.
Model Robot
Slow, unreliable, yet strangely cute automaton.
Filling the unenviable role of Coiffio's assistant, Model Robot can always be found at his master's beck and call - unlike certain other feline minions. Unfortunately for "Model Douchebag", he remains unappreciated due to his dim nature and devastatingly slow transform process. Then again, why someone would design a machine that can transform into a soft Terry Cloth robe is anybody's guess.
He is the proud mascot for the Convenience Store Of Death.
Catman
Despicable cat-suited menace that plagues Gerald's adventure.
Is it a man? Is it a cat? No, it's a Cat Man. That should be fairly obvious, so we're not really sure why you even had to ask. Idiots. Cat Man is Coiffio's first line of defense against ambitious kids who seek to steal the secret of perfect hair. Sadly, Cat Man seems more at home sharpening his makeshift claws on a nearby tree or even playing idly in kitty litter. In fact, he finds his role as a villain to be somewhat of an annoyance. He works part time at the Convenience Store Of Death.
He has been known to operate a gatling gun whilst under the influence.
Inappropriate Comedy Tree (NormanDouglas)
HAS SEX WITH DOGS!
HE USED TO WORK FOR COIFFIO, WHO'S THE EVIL CONTROLLER OF CATS! BUT HE WAS MEAN TO HIM AND CRANKY AND HE DIDN'T LIKE HIS JOKES AND HE CALLED HIM NAMES AND THEY REALLY HURT HIS FEELINGS AND HE COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! SO HE SAVED UP ALL HIS MONEY AND HE BOUGHT SOME NEW JEANS AND HE RAN AWAY!
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!
Action Hot Dog
Gerald's magical friend who speaks in tongues.
Hot Dog is never at a loss for words no matter the predicament he finds himself in. Unfortunately for us, those words aren't easily understandable and instead come off as an incomprehensible series of "Doo"s and "Lah"s. We're not quite sure of the origin of this fantastic creature, but we are certain that whoever came up with the idea of a talking hot dog is likely roasting away in some fiery pit somewhere. I mean, come on. It's a hot dog. That talks. Ew.
DOO DA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Astronomical Cat
Aeronautical flying cat.
Probably Coiffio's most trusworthy of followers, Astronomonical Cat has succeeded in stealing the hamburger necklace and dismembering the arm of the King of Animals. Unfortunately, Coiffio didn't really want him to do either of these things. Still, he's cute.
He has an awesome theme tune.
Sherman
Consistently famished animal companion.
Sherman is easily the most vocal of all the King of Animals' subjects. Not only does he speak his mind all the time, but he speaks the mind of his stomach as well. He talks down to people a lot, though that's probably more to do with his being a giraffe than any kind of ego thing.
Once he starts tap dancing, good luck trying to stop him.
Terry/Twisty
Duelling personalities amidst a whirlwhind of secrets.
Terry is a loveable, caring, sharing tornado. Unfortunately, he is inhabited by a second personality named Twisty, who is an evil, demonic, bloodthirsty, son of a b... uh, bun. Son of a bun. Yeah. It should be obvious that Terry has dissociative identity disorder, although we're not sure which personality came first. The fact that he used to hang out with Coiffio would point to Twisty, but his escapades with Model Robot might suggest the other. Ahem.
He hates that tree. I mean really, really hates him.